Is Everyone Pan?!
Who is ever attracted to someone’s gender? In the vein of recognizing that gender is a construct...people are not attracted to something that is inherently gendered. There is nothing about a body that is inherently gendered; people with completely different genders can have the same body shape, type, size. There is nothing about a personality that is inherently gendered, people with completely different genders can have the same personality and the same birth chart.
What we often confuse with gender is aesthetic, style, and visual presentation. Sure you can be attracted to how someone expresses or presents their gender. And if you are a heterosexual man (to keep things “simple”) it is pretty unlikely you are attracted to every woman you meet or see. Right?
No matter where we fall among allosexual and asexual, heterosexual and pansexual, aromantic and panromantic, we are attracted to people. Not genders.
A good example to highlight this further: me. I’m a DFAB trans person with no gender at all, and yet cishet men constantly “like”me on dating apps and “catcall”me on the street. I am read as a cis woman most of the time. Recently, I have gotten “sir’d” based on my voice, but it is quite seldom. So when these straight men are hollering at me, maybe they see a woman, but I’m not a woman: which may mean they either are not solely attracted to women or humans aren’t really attracted to solely “genders”. People of various genders-sans straight womxn-are attracted to me-even before they know I’m trans and agender-and they each read my “gender” differently.
Everyone presents and expresses their a/gender (identity) differently and we all have different lifestyles, interests, hobbies, experiences, and personalities.
People are attracted to minds. Voices. Bodies. Personalities. Energies. Confidence. Style. Aesthetic. Fashion. And other personable and likeable traits that make up each individual person.
Gender is a construct. Everyone is pan.
Maybe not exactly pan, but every “straight” person is at least heteroflexible. Because how could you possibly predict and be certain of the gender of each person you’re attracted to? And really, many people who have met me or “know” me, do not know I am shooting testosterone into my thigh weekly or that I am not a woman. Even people who know my pronouns see me as a woman or femme; and I continue to be perceived as and treated as a womxn of color.
So maybe we should think of attraction and orientations in a more inclusive and personalized way? We like who we like. Even if it confuses us.